STATICS
  • boy: shit baby you're so wet already
  • girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something

norcalnoise:

duplicitousdichotomy:

so I’ve only seen Frozen once, right

so every time my brain tries to play Do You Want To Build A Snowman, it somehow turns into Not While I’m Around from Sweeney Todd.

Elsa
Do you wanna build a snowman
Not while I’m around
Nothing’s gonna harm you, no sir, not while I’m around
Demons’ll charm you with a smile for a while, but in time
Do you wanna build a snowman?
It doesn’t have to be a snowman
Go away, Anna!
Okay, bye…

This is completely acceptable




Cake Boss in a nutshell…



barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

(via what-the-fvck)